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I can smell the typewriters beneath your skin
metallic, halting, smudged vibrato
wavering note stretched out far beyond
the edge of the universe tucked in your front pocket
breathing out in time with your heartbeats.

All along the wall I find notebook pages
old teabags hung for too long, green flakes whirling
while you sit in the lean of the willow tree
and watch the play that is my life
chew the scenery; the stage collapses with a groan.

You pull your scarf in
and wrap the scars in burnt umber
while the show goes on
again.
Hm.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-12-02
Pocket Universe by *Shoeborn ( Suggested by GuinevereToGwen and Featured by DorianHarper )
:iconflermigan:
Flermigan Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013
Amazing wording throughout this whole piece. Absolutely stunning. :heart:
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:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you very much!
Reply
:iconflermigan:
Flermigan Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013
You're welcome, love. 
Reply
:iconorion159:
Orion159 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Very nice! The imagery you use is extremely well done, if a bit tangled and eclectic!

Repeating old points, but still...

Great job!

I am a dummy! 
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Danke! Hey, any feedback (polite feedback, that is XD) is good feedback.
Reply
:iconorion159:
Orion159 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sure thing!
Reply
:iconfscrosstezin:
FScrossTezin Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
pocket universes can be anywhere, anywhere at all
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Indeed, if one stops to look.
Reply
:iconfscrosstezin:
FScrossTezin Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
well it's not entirely possible to see them all
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
na, only so much we can percieve
Reply
:iconfscrosstezin:
FScrossTezin Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yup
Reply
:iconmaxxtoron:
MaxxToron Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful. I love your descriptive language and excellent use of metaphors. C'est magnifique!
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you very much! :3
Reply
:iconsciencevsart:
sciencevsart Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This brings to mind of a play, an empty theatre with an audience of one - scarf and shades - watching a rotting stage with the eyes of many and the disapproving breath of winter wind and autumn cloud. 

And the show goes on.

I can smell the  typewriters beneath your skin

Gosh, that line
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Looks like you've started writing your own now. X3 Thank you!
Reply
:iconayzeee:
AyZeee Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautifully written! (Congrats on DD)
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconayzeee:
AyZeee Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome ^3^
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE DD WOW
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
XD THANK YOU!
Reply
:iconsyrrakael:
syrrakael Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
love this!
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconl-inque:
L-Inque Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Love it.  Read it several times.  It gave me the image of the muse observing the writer hard at work. 

Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, glad you like it! Interesting interpretation.
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congrats!
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconcallme007:
callme007 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013
:iconpinkbow4plz::iconpinkbow2plz::iconpinkbow3plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconrainbowheartplz1::iconrainbowheartplz3::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconrainbowheartplz1::iconrainbowheartplz3::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconcongratsdd1plz::iconcongratsdd2plz::iconcongratsdd3plz::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconrainbowheartplz1::iconrainbowheartplz3::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconrainbowheartplz1::iconrainbowheartplz3::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow4plz::iconpinkbow2plz::iconpinkbow3plz:
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you very much! X3
Reply
:iconcallme007:
callme007 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013
                   :iconkissingplz::iconyourwelcomeplz::iconyourwelcomeplz2::iconyourwelcomeplz3::iconkissinguplz:
:iconclothesline01::iconclothesline02::iconclothesline03::iconclothesline04::iconclothesline05::iconclothesline06::iconclothesline07::iconclothesline08:                             
                         :iconclothesline09::iconclothesline10::iconclothesline11::iconclothesline12:
Reply
:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013
There is some fantastic imagery here--that opening line's a killer. Even though the piece gets a little too tangled up in that imagery, I still enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! Any lines in particular you think are a bit too bogged down?
Reply
:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013
It's not so much any particular lines as much as the lack of some solid, literal grounding spacing out the metaphors.
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Student General Artist
Ah, alright. I'm a bit finicky when it does come to literal lines, so that probably accounts for that; I'm addicted to metaphors left half-unexplained. Thanks for the feedback!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :heart:
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! It just got a whole lot better. XD
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure :happybounce:
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Excellent! Eclectic without pretension. :) Congrats on the DD! :clap:
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! I do love my assorted words.
Reply
:iconsexytickletorture:
Sexytickletorture Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013
This is beautiful.
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
I'm glad you find it so, thank you.
Reply
:icongryffgirl:
Gryffgirl Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013
Beautiful and very strong images.  Congratulations on your DD! :clap:
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! Meow :3 
Reply
:iconlostgryphin:
LostGryphin Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Congrats on the DD
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconguineveretogwen:
GuinevereToGwen Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Student Writer
I love the expression "smudged vibrato". Nicely done, I love this.
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Student General Artist
There were some fun lines in there...thank you!
Reply
:iconguineveretogwen:
GuinevereToGwen Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Student Writer
Welcome!
Reply
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October 7, 2013
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