|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Departure "Taima? Where in the seven hells have you got to?! The wash won't be hung by itself!"
The shouts were aimed to Thomas's left; she must have thought he was down by the slough. It would take her a while realize he was leaving. It would take even longer for the family to fathom which way he'd gone.
While the bracken was a right pain to clamber over, the cover it provided was well worth it. There was no sense getting dragged back to the house, on this day of all days. A stray branch dragged across Thomas's neck as he ran through the thicket, leaving a flaring welt. It was worth it, he thought, breath catching, he had to be worth this.
Again the call. "Taima? You get back here this instant, young lady! I will tell your father of this unseemly behavior of yours, if you don't get back here right now! Taima!?"
The borrowed trousers chafed Thomas's
HeartfallMorning will come
heavy like a bullet
deep within the muscle
beating in your chest
morning will come
to howl its freight train
back into your throat.
how long it's been
since you smiled at the sun
it rises for no one
no matter how few hours you spent smiling
no matter if their laughter does nothing.
are wilting in your eyes
crash back into mine
winter will soon shake the leaves from the trees
and my promises will fall down on their knees
to leave it all behind.
leave it all behind.
Evening will fall
eager as the moonlight
placid as the hunt.
nobody will take a shot for you
swallow back the bile
keep on tearing through the miles
maybe a freight train
will deign to grace your ears
let you climb aboard to someone you haven't
let down before.
how long it's been
since I whispered lullabies
should I have been
not an angel, but a warm goodbye.
a warm goodbye.
are wilting in your eyes
Seven Ways1. Make the sun go down.
Dribble darkness down the sky
until the light turns into darkness
and my skin remains white under the moon.
2. Trade words with me.
Slip them under my pillow at night.
folding adjectives in verbs
so that they seep into my skin
when I roll over and over in my sleep.
3. Bury the city in green.
Cover the walls, the alleyways, in vines,
sidewalks splitting open to reveal poppies
and pansies, line the gutters with moss
blooming with the traffic lights.
4. Bring me the bones of anyone but you.
Sparrows, meadow mice, even deer
discarded in the foothills, but keep your ribcage
5. Run away.
Catch a plane to a foreign country,
then a train, then a boat,
leave everything you find familiar behind.
You'll find it again, under newspapers and cigarette butts,
but pretend you won't.
6. Speak to the sky.
When you climb the mountains to their peaks,
and lean out against the vastness, don't be afraid to scream.
Wolves howl to each other, and I'm sure
the wind will an
TrepiditionInside my chest,
there is a swarm of hornets.
They circle over my inner workings,
leaving miniscule marks on the surface,
crooked gashes on the inside.
Passerby look at my face
and see the morning sojourns,
the wilderness flourishing behind my eyes.
They never look lower, unless it is
to judge my skin for not having
stretched itself until it was as delicate
as tissue paper.
Long silences are when I hear the hive.
Trickling up my throat, they settle beneath my tongue,
so that my words hiss and buzz at the end.
It is in these moments I give in
expunge the swarm storming inside me,
let them leak out until the room is full of vibrations
and the walls creak from containing their mass
for so long.
I stare up into the light fixtures
as they steadily fill with the deceased,
and no one tries to stop me unless I scream.
Eventually, they all lie silent on the floor
only making noise when I step over their bodies.
The cavern inside of me is empty
my mouth is closed to all.
But as I step out into t
BitterThe problem with happiness
is when it's not you.
It's someone else with that goofy smile on their face,
filling the margins of their favorite novels with lacy prose
interwoven with daisy chains. You listen to them expound
about how good life can be, how full they feel,
and all you can think is that there is something wrong with you.
The problem with you
is that you're not happy.
It's someone else's firefly glow that's lighting your face,
not some inner radiance of your own. All you ever do
is write about glory and summer and the night sky,
as though saying something is the same as doing it.
And all you can think is how green always was your favorite color.
Revelationslightning scars the sky,
arching veins, outlining cataracts
of turmoil. they are restless upstairs,
echoing down across the valley like gunshots
or shifting furniture. I see a spark alight
on the boughs of the nearby ridge,
before it blinks out, brighter than the stars
choked by clouds.
my father carried the midwest on his shoulders,
marking roadways to homes that never were.
the pulsing in my eardrums makes me wonder,
how many storms had he weathered,
before he was bent over by my own?
heaven clamors high above,
and the air smells of steel burning.
my heart tenses at each flash,
until I can no longer count the miles between myself
and the tempest. heat is not only my undoing,
PictogramYou can have your world,
but keep it away from me;
the smog has already tarnished my irises,
the cement has already rubbed off on my toes.
Sooner or later, we all decay
radioactive as we are.
It happened to me when I first lied to myself
further breaking down as I avoided others' words
and their company.
They all tell you
"I have ____", but I prefer
"I suffer from ____".
This brings me pain, I do not own it
nor do I want to. This unsettling
uneasy queasiness in me is not my own
it is a tumor.
The last time I looked ahead
with starlings in my eyes,
there were hermit crabs crawling over my toes
and the river smelled like renewal
and fallen leaves.
Some of the pieces in my
fit, lock like a key in the door
but mostly it's all pictograms
scrawled across the asphalt of the roadway.
No, it's not my childhood,
there's only fingerpaintings where my memories should be
kind-faced women with good intentions
a rainy day.
Before that, there are raspberries,
houses with stairc
overexposureshe fell into limbo
arms dangling, leaden,
eyes rolling back like apples
ripening. the meat of her lips
was ragged, the breath in her throat
was lush. she suffered from herself,
and the only cure she could conceive
was this silent doomsday.
in between the precipice and the ground
she allowed her bones to hollow,
taking in the air rushing past her.
something inside of her told her
the end would not be bloody, but flat
as the notes she struggled to reach
she opened her mouth
to scream with the wind.
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
I screamMy scream is loud.
My scream is honest.
My scream is desperate.
My scream is filled with truth.
Why would nobody hear me?
dearly belovedthese days
your name has been slipping
in and out of my rib cage
my heart forgets to beat.
how even after all these months i still
don't want to believe that
you're dead. how during the
first couple of weeks i prayed
to a god i didn't believe in and begged to know
if death tasted sweet to you. how once,
when the monsters in my head
didn't let me sleep, i
wrote you three poems and then
you were a supernova that
lit up my life for
a few radiant moments before,
like all good things in this
you came to an end.
the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.
but i think that,
most of all,
i hope you no longer
remember what pain
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
Wrists.Wrists are not made,
To be cut up by cold blades.
Blood was meant to stay in your veins,
Not to be drained.
From your body,
You're stronger than that,
I know a person can only take,
Until they break.
And you have your doubts,
And when you lay in bed,
The pain is all you think about.
But you're so much more,
Than your heart aches.
So much more,
Than your demons.
Even if you feel,
Like your dying,
And you are through with trying,
Because all you've been doing lately is crying.
I want you to know,
That no, you're not alone.
And you re going to survive.
Please just drop your knife,
Because you're going to,
Make it out alive.
words, wonderlight has faded and words are heavy,
but there is a delicate magic
twisting between your fingers.
it is all a-scribble
melisma without music;
syllables stitching terra firma
to firmament in intricate
stanzas that require
neither breath nor sound
to echo, infinite,
within the depths
of susurrous souls.
it is cold and it is dark,
but there is a fire in you
and you use it with a fierce grace
that illuminates the shadows,
and ignites the demons
until not even the grey spaces
that haunt and harry
can hold dominion.
they are exposed
they are broken
into shards of sunrise
and rays of a quiet
you scare away the night
with exhalations that blow
away the fogged emptiness
inside, over and over,
sparking fireworks from
what was thought
to be ash.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
GravelYou always laugh
Like the world owes you nothing
But joy and sun-pickled roses.
You always smile
As though the adventure were just over the next rise.
You always talk
like nothing matters except living and loving living.
But now I know the truth
Behind the closed doors in your mind.
Seeming tall and strong before me
Crackling at my touch.
The first day you laughed at me
Bitter words resting on your tongue.
The first day you smiled at me
The strain clenching your features.
The first day you turned your back on me
I knew how much it hurt
To be alone in a crowded room.
To wait for an adventure that would never come.
To stumble and stammer when you know the answer.
I wanted to help you.
But you didn't want my help.
Not a shoulder to cry on
A punching-bag to lay upon all you woes, all your pent-up
Not a friend.
I tried to pick you up when you hit the pavement,
But you laughed it off
And made a joke at my expense.
I am lucky.
I love and at least believe I am loved.
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More